we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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