If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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