I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
