i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize