I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
