Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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