OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
