Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
people are starting to question the shark bite story
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
