Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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