even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
