I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
