i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
