why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
