.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
