stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
