Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
