somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
you would pick up someone in the library
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
