Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
