So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize