Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
