When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize