Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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