She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
