All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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