omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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