why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
