Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
