We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
