let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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