Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Someone signed my nipple.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
