god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
