And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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