Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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