I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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