On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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