I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
