You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
