UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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