Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
