all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
