BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
