If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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