Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
