found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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