eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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