This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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