I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
