you mean i was at the winter classic?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
