I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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