Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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