Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
