If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Is her dick bigger than yours?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
