My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize