This is not my ceiling
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
