do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize