You smell like a Billy Joel song
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
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