So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
