Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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