you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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