what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
