Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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