Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I checked into jail on foursquare
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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