Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
