Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
