C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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