Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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