That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
