How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
