She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
